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Gary brought hard liquor, tequila, whiskey, bourbon. Gary had checked. The guy had a kitchen and dining room table. They could sit 5 at each table for poker.We also went online and bought some porn. Gary picked them out.Last it came down to a stripper. I really was not happy with this. I'd never met any of his coworkers and didn't trust them. Although Gary insisted the stories weren't true I was not convinced."There are too many of these stories for them all to be fake," I said."Well, what do I do then?" he asked.Truthfully we went back and forth on this a few nights in a row. Then out of the blue it hit me. It seemed like a great idea at the time."I'll do it," I said."You?" Gary said in disbelief.I should probably interject here that Gary had always been proud of me and my looks. He liked me to wear short skirts and small bikinis. He'd often get excited when he noticed guys checking me out and would always point it out. For my part I didn't mind. I was 27, I still liked the. .” “No wonder she doesn't..” Those thoughts are toxic and seizes up your body.When you're in love with someone who doesn't love you back, you get so ******* close to hating them. You hate that they've ripped you open, eaten you up and have left you to decay. You hate that they have let you hate yourself more than you could ever hate them. You hate them because of the things they gave you which weren't all good. And the things they stole. Like crying on their shoulders which they gave, but your pride they took.When you're in love with someone for the first time and they don't love you back, you never want to fall in love again. You never want attachments with anyone because of this substantial pain that is constantly there. You never want to kiss with love, talk with love, witness love. You never want love unless, it's that one person you love. That's the only thing that matters. Love had a horrible reputation, it's either make it or ******* break it. Not take it.When you're hurt by.
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